Honesty

Casting Crowns has a song called something like (or it may be entirely different)"Plastic People". I didn't think I was plastic, but I've realized lately that it's so difficult for me to be honest about my hurts, faults, and especially my failures. If I'm honest with my failures, will people condemn me? Will they throw stones or see that they too fail? So, despite those un-answered questions that because a new question with each person, I'm trying. So, *big breath* here goes:
*I don't have a handle on this church-planting thing. Sometimes, I just want to take a break from it all and have everything solved when I get back.
*I doubt myself a lot. I don't know if it will all work out.
*I am learning though that God can work through anyone... even me.
*I'm excited and scared at the same time by that fact. What if I miss something vital and hinder the process?

So, that's the beginning of honesty. Now, it's moving it from a blog post to talking about it all with the people that I need to give me their support through this as I realize how weak I really am, but how strong God is.

Jude 7

In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.

I know that Hell is not a pleasant topic. Even when I witness to someone, I don't spend too much time on this subject. While I doubt that will change, I want it to serve as a motivation for me to witness... but out of love, that I truly do not want anyone to perish. I want to have God's heart as expressed in 2 Peter 3:9.

So, what is hell like? To be honest, I'm not sure I can grasp a full picture of it, but I can only contrast what I know of Heaven. If Heaven is with the very presence of God, then Hell can only be totally without Him. If God is good (righteous and perfect), then Hell must be without any goodness at all. Sin has totally taken over. If God is love, then Hell has no love. If God is light and offers eternal life, then Hell is dark, without light, and is eternal death. If there is no sickness or pain in Heaven, then Hell is only sickness, only pain. If Heaven is the place where you have a home and are with family, then Hell is a lonely place, without friends or family.

Hell has no goodness and sin has taken over. Hell has no love and is lonely. Hell is dark and there is only sickness, pain, and death. Hell is without God... forever.

I am sure that there is so much more to both Heaven, in all its goodness, and Hell, in how awful it is, but I only pray that God will place a love for others in me that I will truly want them to experience abundant life now and in the future to experience eternal life, and that I will love them so much that I will not want them to experience eternal fire.

How much we can love God, and yet fear His right judgment at the same time.

Portico-the college age church

Hey everyone,

As you can see, we now have a name for the church-Portico. I feel like it's progressing and people are committing and we're following God. But, the more we get into it, the more I hear about church-plants that don't make it. This is a big fear of mine. I know the simple answer is to trust God and follow Him, to pray and pray and pray, but I think, surely the other church-planters did that as well. Surely, hopefully, they followed God's leading to plant the church they did. If so, why did it fail? Please pray for me about this. I want deeply for this church to succeed in reaching the lost, but there is only so much I can do... which isn't a lot. God, give me strength and please have mercy. I am only a servant with a messed-up background and human frailties.