Honesty

Casting Crowns has a song called something like (or it may be entirely different)"Plastic People". I didn't think I was plastic, but I've realized lately that it's so difficult for me to be honest about my hurts, faults, and especially my failures. If I'm honest with my failures, will people condemn me? Will they throw stones or see that they too fail? So, despite those un-answered questions that because a new question with each person, I'm trying. So, *big breath* here goes:
*I don't have a handle on this church-planting thing. Sometimes, I just want to take a break from it all and have everything solved when I get back.
*I doubt myself a lot. I don't know if it will all work out.
*I am learning though that God can work through anyone... even me.
*I'm excited and scared at the same time by that fact. What if I miss something vital and hinder the process?

So, that's the beginning of honesty. Now, it's moving it from a blog post to talking about it all with the people that I need to give me their support through this as I realize how weak I really am, but how strong God is.

Jude 7

In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.

I know that Hell is not a pleasant topic. Even when I witness to someone, I don't spend too much time on this subject. While I doubt that will change, I want it to serve as a motivation for me to witness... but out of love, that I truly do not want anyone to perish. I want to have God's heart as expressed in 2 Peter 3:9.

So, what is hell like? To be honest, I'm not sure I can grasp a full picture of it, but I can only contrast what I know of Heaven. If Heaven is with the very presence of God, then Hell can only be totally without Him. If God is good (righteous and perfect), then Hell must be without any goodness at all. Sin has totally taken over. If God is love, then Hell has no love. If God is light and offers eternal life, then Hell is dark, without light, and is eternal death. If there is no sickness or pain in Heaven, then Hell is only sickness, only pain. If Heaven is the place where you have a home and are with family, then Hell is a lonely place, without friends or family.

Hell has no goodness and sin has taken over. Hell has no love and is lonely. Hell is dark and there is only sickness, pain, and death. Hell is without God... forever.

I am sure that there is so much more to both Heaven, in all its goodness, and Hell, in how awful it is, but I only pray that God will place a love for others in me that I will truly want them to experience abundant life now and in the future to experience eternal life, and that I will love them so much that I will not want them to experience eternal fire.

How much we can love God, and yet fear His right judgment at the same time.

Portico-the college age church

Hey everyone,

As you can see, we now have a name for the church-Portico. I feel like it's progressing and people are committing and we're following God. But, the more we get into it, the more I hear about church-plants that don't make it. This is a big fear of mine. I know the simple answer is to trust God and follow Him, to pray and pray and pray, but I think, surely the other church-planters did that as well. Surely, hopefully, they followed God's leading to plant the church they did. If so, why did it fail? Please pray for me about this. I want deeply for this church to succeed in reaching the lost, but there is only so much I can do... which isn't a lot. God, give me strength and please have mercy. I am only a servant with a messed-up background and human frailties.

It's pure and simple logic

So, I realized how often my generation loves to write something or read something or even listen to something to sound intelligent, wise, or deep. I guess I prove it in a way, just by typing this. :) Oh well.
I recently taught a lesson not too long ago, and have been reminded of it, that no matter what your age, just b/c you're a human, we look to our peers and even people we don't know to find our sense of value. Granted, this isn't my idea. I stole it from the guy who wrote Blue Like Jazz. But it makes sense, after all, we get upset when we get cut off in traffic b/c we feel like we've been disrespected. From the time we're babies we start to do stuff to gain applause.
The answer to this is to find our identity in Christ, which even Christians lack. Knowing who God says we are answers a lot and then we don't have to go looking for it in the eyes of a friend. Hmmm.... so, have I mastered this yet? Yeah, right. I'm a twenty-something female with a blog. I definately want the applause of others. :P But, that's why this is all a journey.

College Church-plant

Sometimes, God asks us to do scary things... like talk to that person over there. Yeah, the one with the tattoos, cigarette hanging from her mouth, and hair about valentine-day pink. Then He asks you to do other things, like trust Him. Oh yeah, our God asks big things out of us.

But, It's Worth It.

For a while now, I have felt that God was laying it on my heart to plant a college-church and slowly that vision is making its way into reality, and I'm so excited. It's great to see God reveal a little bit more of what will soon take place as you do your quiet time. It's great to cast the vision and see someone else grab on. It's great to know that God is honoring, of all people, you. It's great to know that He wants to honor even more people. What a Mighty God we serve. Though our mountains be as mountains to us, yet we remember, that He is the one that causes the mountains to quake and send up smoke.

It's a Bit of a Mystery to Me...

So, I'm going on a mission trip. The first questions are usually when, where, and for how long. To answer the first question, I'm on it right now! (More details of that to come...) The second question is where. Well, I don't know yet. We're leaving tomorrow morning and since it's a "mystery" trip, we won't know until we load up to leave. To answer the third question, how long, well, until next Sunday.
So yeah, now it's a mystery to you to... and that's okay. Just please, pray for Tylie, our mission trip leader. I think she's a bit stressed.... and she does know where we're going... at least I hope so! ;)

First Post

Yeah, so this blog is mainly just to keep in touch with people. Things are going good. Getting ready to student teach! Just had an interview with NAMB for US/C2. Things looked good and I'll find out definately early March. It's 11:39 p.m. and ya know, I'm kind of tired, so although this is a short post, it's time for bed.